You know, I've been waking up the last few mornings wondering who I'm becoming. I used to be a jazz vocalist with a day job that gigged and taught voice and labored through the day at a law firm with people that make no sense to me all in an effort to pay the rent and, well, keep on keeping on.
But now I wake up and wonder where I'm headed. I'm making a documentary with no money and no experience. I'm not gigging because most of my attention goes into making the documentary, not hunting for gigs. I have new goals but it feels like they have placed me in a new Universe and I don't know this place.
And then I get a call from a friend whose cancer may have returned. Suddenly I am bolted back into place.
So tonight I must blog again how lucky I am. No, I don't know where I'm headed, and I don't know if "Voices of the Homeless" is going to be as special as I believe it should be, and I'm plagued with doubt and confusion. But I am HEALTHY. I have a HOME. I have a bed every night and because I show up for that odd job every day, there is no issue that I might lose that bed or that home.
My friend might not be so lucky if her cancer takes her private practice away and she can't pay her rent. Today on the phone she even used the word, "homeless."
Sometimes I guess the most we can do is just keep showing up, you know?
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