Ahhhh, it was great. I rode my bike, I practiced Tai Chi, I spent so many hours in the garden I hurt my back. It was wonderful. The guilt was worth it for the rest I got.
But now it's already Tuesday and I'm looking towards snagging some editing time this weekend so I can begin thinking about what footage I've got and what footage I still need.
I'm almost there. I'm almost ready to sew this thing together.
If I could think of any way to procrastinate, I would procrastinate.
I don't want to ruin this puppy in editing.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
A Free Weekend
The footage of Todd Goehner looks great. The footage of my Tai Chi instructor, Judy, that I'll use for my practice editing project also looks great. I'm stepping into my weekend without the camera or time at the editing bay. I'm giving myself a weekend off.
I already feel guilty.
I already feel guilty.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The Edit Bay
Back to CAPS-TV tonight to "transfer the data." I sit there and try to remember which keys to push, which tab my mouse should click, so I can get all my raw footage in one place. I should be pounding the pavement looking for gigs. People keep asking me if I'm still singing. I've got nothing on the books. But this project, where we used music as a healing tool, has my heart more than anything else right now. So, it's back to CAPS-TV while I do almost nothing else.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Monday
I am sitting at my desk at my day job today cranky because I don't feel like I had a weekend. I am thrilled that I got such a great interview on Saturday with Todd my community partner for the live performance of "Voices of the Homeless."
But in order to do a decent editing job on this documentary, knowing full well that I have never edited a video before, I've also started a side project. A practice video, if you will. I am making a 3-5 minute video of my Tai Chi teacher, Judy Scott. I've taped her teaching class, doing the form by herself, and I've got two interviews of her. (Two because one of them has her sitting in a beautiful garden where all the shrubs behind her are in focus while Her Face is slightly OUT of focus. Grrrrrr.) And all this so I can have a video to practice on so I don't sit down to edit "Voices of the Homeless" and ruin the whole thing.
So yesterday, Sunday, once again I dragged out the heavy equipment this time to my Tai Chi class to get more footage of Judy.
All this to say what a capital "C" Crab I feel like today. Taping ate up my whole weekend and I'm feeling like a brat who didn't get her play time.
No, I don't forget how lucky I am. But no, that doesn't stop me from feeling tired today and pretty bratty.
But in order to do a decent editing job on this documentary, knowing full well that I have never edited a video before, I've also started a side project. A practice video, if you will. I am making a 3-5 minute video of my Tai Chi teacher, Judy Scott. I've taped her teaching class, doing the form by herself, and I've got two interviews of her. (Two because one of them has her sitting in a beautiful garden where all the shrubs behind her are in focus while Her Face is slightly OUT of focus. Grrrrrr.) And all this so I can have a video to practice on so I don't sit down to edit "Voices of the Homeless" and ruin the whole thing.
So yesterday, Sunday, once again I dragged out the heavy equipment this time to my Tai Chi class to get more footage of Judy.
All this to say what a capital "C" Crab I feel like today. Taping ate up my whole weekend and I'm feeling like a brat who didn't get her play time.
No, I don't forget how lucky I am. But no, that doesn't stop me from feeling tired today and pretty bratty.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Todd Goehner
This afternoon I shot an interview with Todd Goehner. He was my community partner when he worked at Project Understanding. He was an integral part of the entire project because his background and his passion is social services, particularly helping with the homeless. His interview pulled together so much of the message I'm trying to put out there. It is so gratifying to communicate with someone whose on the same page as I am. And he is so well spoken. I admire this guy, and because of this project, I can now call him my friend.
Maybe this documentary is going to make sense after all.
Maybe this documentary is going to make sense after all.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Scared
So the other night I was at CAPS-TV in their editing bay "transferring data" (I'm getting the buzz words down). God Bless CAPS-TV for existing. I couldn't attempt this without a public access station. And they are so great over there. So patient with us all. I was transferring the interview I just shot with saxophonist Scheila Gonzalez Santiago to my external hard drive where all the documentary footage is. It took, like, 1/2 hour to transfer her stuff. But once I was in the editing bay I started looking at all the other interviews I've already shot. I started thinking about how I was going to build an opening sequence and how I was going to pull out sentences here and there from all the different interviews and piece this thing all together.
And I looked and I wondered and I looked and I wondered.
And then I said to myself, "Who am I trying to kid?"
And I looked and I wondered and I looked and I wondered.
And then I said to myself, "Who am I trying to kid?"
Thursday, January 19, 2012
The Rehearsal, The Performance
We had one rehearsal for the live performance of "Voices of the Homeless." It happened one week before the event. This is when I saw that the storytellers were going to have trouble on a microphone. Most of them did not know how to speak on one. And how would they know? Their focus was on finding shelter, not presenting themselves to an audience. I have no idea how that piece of reality escaped me but it did. I wondered where I had put my brain and if the audience was going to be able to understand any of the words they said.
But we had made it through other setbacks. One of the biggest set backs since believing I had lost my venue was that my partner Todd lost his job. About two months before the event Project Understanding had a changing of the guard. The old executive director went out and a new guy came in. With the new guy came a new agenda and out went Todd's position and Todd's job. It is not that Project Understanding did not appreciate this event, but in the real sense of partnership, I did not get it from the organization. I got it from Todd. Yet with incredible grace and style, while he was worried sick about his own income, he continued to help me put the event together. I will never forget him for that.
And then came the big day. August 21, 2010 at 2:00 p.m. in the outside performance space in front of the Theater Gallery. I think everybody was very excited. I know I was. We had some hits and we had some misses but I was incredibly proud of every single storyteller. And I was so grateful for the musicians and how they played.
But I won't talk about the performance. Here is the link to my website where, at the bottom of the page, are all the YouTube videos of that day. You can decide how we did for yourself.
http://tonijannotta.com/grant2010.html
Now to put it all together into a meaningful documentary . . .
But we had made it through other setbacks. One of the biggest set backs since believing I had lost my venue was that my partner Todd lost his job. About two months before the event Project Understanding had a changing of the guard. The old executive director went out and a new guy came in. With the new guy came a new agenda and out went Todd's position and Todd's job. It is not that Project Understanding did not appreciate this event, but in the real sense of partnership, I did not get it from the organization. I got it from Todd. Yet with incredible grace and style, while he was worried sick about his own income, he continued to help me put the event together. I will never forget him for that.
And then came the big day. August 21, 2010 at 2:00 p.m. in the outside performance space in front of the Theater Gallery. I think everybody was very excited. I know I was. We had some hits and we had some misses but I was incredibly proud of every single storyteller. And I was so grateful for the musicians and how they played.
But I won't talk about the performance. Here is the link to my website where, at the bottom of the page, are all the YouTube videos of that day. You can decide how we did for yourself.
http://tonijannotta.com/grant2010.html
Now to put it all together into a meaningful documentary . . .
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The Venue, The Stories
There were some very memorable moments in the preparation for the performance of "Voices of the Homeless." First I lost my venue. A man whose name I will not mention, who positioned himself as the head huncho at the venue, told me I'd have to make certain "donations" in order to have my performance there. The venue had been promised to me for free because of the content so this was news to me. Suffice it to say, I panicked. For the next four months I looked for alternate venues, while trying to mount the performance at the same time.
Luckily it all got resolved with a few well placed phone calls and, as suddenly as I lost my venue, I had it back again. "Voices of the Homeless" was performanced on August 21, 2010, at the WAV (Working Artists Ventura) in downtown Ventura.
The most important element of this performance, though, more than where it would be presented, were the homeless themselves. I was asking each one of them to expose themselves in front of up to 100 people about the most painful times of their lives. If someone had asked me to do the same thing, I'd have told them to go to hell.
But five people stepped up to the plate because, in their words, they felt they had something to say. (And I say, Bravo.) There was also a sixth woman, but she would not expose herself. Her situation concerned me so much, though, that I asked her for her permission to tell her story for her. This is why the sixth story is from The Woman Who Will Remain Nameless.
I asked each person to tell the audience what they believed the audience did not know about the experience of being homeless. They didn't have to specifically tell their story. I said to them: "Nobody knows who you are. Nobody knows how it feels or what it's like. What do you want them to know?" So they shared what they thought was important. This is how I felt I could get to the meat of the matter. It's not about a sob story. It's about Information, and all we do Not know about being homeless.
One man told his story in order to get over his fears. You see, he has no teeth. One woman wrote a poem. One man played his guitar. One man talked off the cuff no matter how much I pleaded with him to Write It Down! And for each "story" there was a quartet of musicians improvising behind them, sometimes soloing, sometimes playing all together.
The storytellers rocked. They had such courage. The musicians held them in their arms. You could feel it. I want this kind of performance to happen again and again all over the country, teaching us about each other and putting more jazz musicians to work.
This is why I'm making a a documentary.
Thanks for reading.
Luckily it all got resolved with a few well placed phone calls and, as suddenly as I lost my venue, I had it back again. "Voices of the Homeless" was performanced on August 21, 2010, at the WAV (Working Artists Ventura) in downtown Ventura.
The most important element of this performance, though, more than where it would be presented, were the homeless themselves. I was asking each one of them to expose themselves in front of up to 100 people about the most painful times of their lives. If someone had asked me to do the same thing, I'd have told them to go to hell.
But five people stepped up to the plate because, in their words, they felt they had something to say. (And I say, Bravo.) There was also a sixth woman, but she would not expose herself. Her situation concerned me so much, though, that I asked her for her permission to tell her story for her. This is why the sixth story is from The Woman Who Will Remain Nameless.
I asked each person to tell the audience what they believed the audience did not know about the experience of being homeless. They didn't have to specifically tell their story. I said to them: "Nobody knows who you are. Nobody knows how it feels or what it's like. What do you want them to know?" So they shared what they thought was important. This is how I felt I could get to the meat of the matter. It's not about a sob story. It's about Information, and all we do Not know about being homeless.
One man told his story in order to get over his fears. You see, he has no teeth. One woman wrote a poem. One man played his guitar. One man talked off the cuff no matter how much I pleaded with him to Write It Down! And for each "story" there was a quartet of musicians improvising behind them, sometimes soloing, sometimes playing all together.
The storytellers rocked. They had such courage. The musicians held them in their arms. You could feel it. I want this kind of performance to happen again and again all over the country, teaching us about each other and putting more jazz musicians to work.
This is why I'm making a a documentary.
Thanks for reading.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I Got The Grant
So now it's April of 2010 and the time has come to announce the grant recipients of the 2010 grant cycle for the Artist in the Community Partnership Grants given by the Ventura County Arts Council, funded largely by the James Irvine Foundation. And if I haven't mentioned it already, the City of Ventura that I'm writing about is in Southern California.
The letter arrives. I got the grant. Four thousand dollars to create and produce a performance piece with 6 storytellers who either were previously homeless or were presently homeless, and a quartet of four musicians to make music in the moment behind them.
Now the real work starts. It is April. The performance is scheduled for August.
And, by the way, I am supposed to take home 1/2 of the grant money as my stipend. I find that laughable. As I previously mentioned, I have no retirement. Am I really going to start taking home large chunks of change NOW while I try to create something? Probably not. When it was all said and done, I walked away with $400. And I was happy about it! I paid the musicians, the homeless, the sound guy, and the video company because I was not going to create a performance without getting it on tape. I suppose I had the idea of making a documentary in the back of my mind all along.
But it is April and I've got to first create relationships with the homeless. Without their sad expertise, there is no story to tell. It is their story, not mine, and hopefully not yours either.
I hit the ground running. Three mornings a week, I served coffee at the homeless shelter before my day job began. I poured coffee, talked to the people who would talk to me, and kept my mouth shut about the project. I just tried to build relationships. I wanted to present a snapshot of homelessness to an audience who believes that all the homeless out there are the same guy. I wanted to present the husbands and wives, the mothers, the ones who had found shelter and the ones who were chronically homeless. I was blessed with 6 amazingly courageous people: They were Donna, Donnie, Dan, Donald, 3-Dog, and a woman who would remain nameless. And yes, the fact that everybody's names started with a D did not go unnoticed. I have no idea why that was.
Then came the musicians, but they were easy part. I've had the good fortune to work with some incredible musicians over the 20 odd years I've been singing jazz. I knew all I had to do was nail the right people for the money and I would have no musical worries. As always, the musicians were an absolute and beautiful breeze.
I will continue with this saga tomorrow but before I go, as they say, "Let me introduce you to the band." On keyboards was Kevin Fukagawa; on electric and acoustic bass was Danny Young, (and for all you jazz buffs out there, the legendary trumpeter Snooky Young was Danny's dad); on drums for the rehearsal (we actually had one) was Derek Syverud; on percussion and drums for the performance was Chris Wabich; and on flute, soprano sax, and tenor sax was Scheila Gonzalez.
Good night, sleep tight, and I'll blog you tomorrow.
The letter arrives. I got the grant. Four thousand dollars to create and produce a performance piece with 6 storytellers who either were previously homeless or were presently homeless, and a quartet of four musicians to make music in the moment behind them.
Now the real work starts. It is April. The performance is scheduled for August.
And, by the way, I am supposed to take home 1/2 of the grant money as my stipend. I find that laughable. As I previously mentioned, I have no retirement. Am I really going to start taking home large chunks of change NOW while I try to create something? Probably not. When it was all said and done, I walked away with $400. And I was happy about it! I paid the musicians, the homeless, the sound guy, and the video company because I was not going to create a performance without getting it on tape. I suppose I had the idea of making a documentary in the back of my mind all along.
But it is April and I've got to first create relationships with the homeless. Without their sad expertise, there is no story to tell. It is their story, not mine, and hopefully not yours either.
I hit the ground running. Three mornings a week, I served coffee at the homeless shelter before my day job began. I poured coffee, talked to the people who would talk to me, and kept my mouth shut about the project. I just tried to build relationships. I wanted to present a snapshot of homelessness to an audience who believes that all the homeless out there are the same guy. I wanted to present the husbands and wives, the mothers, the ones who had found shelter and the ones who were chronically homeless. I was blessed with 6 amazingly courageous people: They were Donna, Donnie, Dan, Donald, 3-Dog, and a woman who would remain nameless. And yes, the fact that everybody's names started with a D did not go unnoticed. I have no idea why that was.
Then came the musicians, but they were easy part. I've had the good fortune to work with some incredible musicians over the 20 odd years I've been singing jazz. I knew all I had to do was nail the right people for the money and I would have no musical worries. As always, the musicians were an absolute and beautiful breeze.
I will continue with this saga tomorrow but before I go, as they say, "Let me introduce you to the band." On keyboards was Kevin Fukagawa; on electric and acoustic bass was Danny Young, (and for all you jazz buffs out there, the legendary trumpeter Snooky Young was Danny's dad); on drums for the rehearsal (we actually had one) was Derek Syverud; on percussion and drums for the performance was Chris Wabich; and on flute, soprano sax, and tenor sax was Scheila Gonzalez.
Good night, sleep tight, and I'll blog you tomorrow.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Back to the Blog
Now that my own home is finally free of termites and I have moved back in, I would like to get back to telling you how "Voices of the Homeless" came to be -- because first it was a performance.
As a quick recap, I had decided to apply for a grant called an Artist in the Community Partnership Grant and partner with Project Understanding, who serves the homeless. Should I get the grant, I would put together a performance piece where the homeless told their stories, in their own words, while jazz improvisers played music behind them.
In January of 2010, I had had my orientation meeting, I'd spoken to the Homeless Angel Bob (see 2nd blog below), and I had found my partner, Todd Goehner of Project Understanding. Now I needed to put together a grant submission.
People ask me if I do much grant writing. I don't even know what that means. The grants I've applied for have all had boilerplate questions you must answer and narratives you must write. It's almost like painting by the numbers. So if anybody out there reading this blog wants to apply for a grant, please know that "grant writing" is not as scary as it sounds.
But it is time consuming. It literally took me six weeks to compile all the required documents and writings. It was like submitting to the Appellate Court. I had work samples and letters of recommendation and news clippings from my own gigs and concerts and a narrative (you know, what makes me so special that I deserve this grant).
And I had to have a budget. ARG. I'm a jazz singer. I don't even think "budget." I think things like, "I should have focused on retirement." But with the help of a friend, I figured out how to put a budget together.
Then I compiled the entire mess, submitted it, and went away for a few days to clear my head.
Tomorrow I'd like to tell you how my life completely changed once I got that grant. And by the way it hasn't been the same since.
But that's for another blog.
Thank you once again for reading.
Till next time,
Toni
As a quick recap, I had decided to apply for a grant called an Artist in the Community Partnership Grant and partner with Project Understanding, who serves the homeless. Should I get the grant, I would put together a performance piece where the homeless told their stories, in their own words, while jazz improvisers played music behind them.
In January of 2010, I had had my orientation meeting, I'd spoken to the Homeless Angel Bob (see 2nd blog below), and I had found my partner, Todd Goehner of Project Understanding. Now I needed to put together a grant submission.
People ask me if I do much grant writing. I don't even know what that means. The grants I've applied for have all had boilerplate questions you must answer and narratives you must write. It's almost like painting by the numbers. So if anybody out there reading this blog wants to apply for a grant, please know that "grant writing" is not as scary as it sounds.
But it is time consuming. It literally took me six weeks to compile all the required documents and writings. It was like submitting to the Appellate Court. I had work samples and letters of recommendation and news clippings from my own gigs and concerts and a narrative (you know, what makes me so special that I deserve this grant).
And I had to have a budget. ARG. I'm a jazz singer. I don't even think "budget." I think things like, "I should have focused on retirement." But with the help of a friend, I figured out how to put a budget together.
Then I compiled the entire mess, submitted it, and went away for a few days to clear my head.
Tomorrow I'd like to tell you how my life completely changed once I got that grant. And by the way it hasn't been the same since.
But that's for another blog.
Thank you once again for reading.
Till next time,
Toni
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Home
I am home. And though I have no hot water at the moment, I Have A Home. I don't forget how lucky I am that I have one.
And on top of the termites and the move out and the move back in, I interviewed Scheila Gonzalez Santiago today down in Los Angeles for the documentary. What a beautiful woman. What an amazing player. Her words were heartfelt.
But she also played for me. Kindly, she improvised both on her soprano sax and her tenor so that I can have some music at the beginning of the documentary. The documentary will open with a walk down the Ventura Pier where 3-Dog fishes, and Scheila's solo sax will be playing over it. I can't WAIT to put that opening together.
But now I must unpack, heat up water on the stove for a bath, and get some rest.
Till soon.
Thank you for reading.
And on top of the termites and the move out and the move back in, I interviewed Scheila Gonzalez Santiago today down in Los Angeles for the documentary. What a beautiful woman. What an amazing player. Her words were heartfelt.
But she also played for me. Kindly, she improvised both on her soprano sax and her tenor so that I can have some music at the beginning of the documentary. The documentary will open with a walk down the Ventura Pier where 3-Dog fishes, and Scheila's solo sax will be playing over it. I can't WAIT to put that opening together.
But now I must unpack, heat up water on the stove for a bath, and get some rest.
Till soon.
Thank you for reading.
Friday, January 13, 2012
3-Ring-Circus
Checked out of my hotel this morning. Taking out high def camera from our local public access TV station during my lunch hour today. Moving back into my home tonight. Shooting my next interview for the documentary tomorrow. What a Tailspin Day.
I want to tell you more about how the whole documentary project began, but Fate (and Termites) took me away from MY home for the last 3 days.
As always, more to come . . .
Thank you so much for reading!
Toni
P.S. Tomorrow's interview is with the beautiful and talented saxophonist Scheila Gonzalez Santiago, who improvised in the live performance of Voices of the Homeless. It has taken one year to snag her for this interview as "Zappa Plays Zappa" her steady gig with Dweezil Zappa has first dibs on her. :-)
I want to tell you more about how the whole documentary project began, but Fate (and Termites) took me away from MY home for the last 3 days.
As always, more to come . . .
Thank you so much for reading!
Toni
P.S. Tomorrow's interview is with the beautiful and talented saxophonist Scheila Gonzalez Santiago, who improvised in the live performance of Voices of the Homeless. It has taken one year to snag her for this interview as "Zappa Plays Zappa" her steady gig with Dweezil Zappa has first dibs on her. :-)
Thursday, January 12, 2012
The Hotel
I'm living in a hotel today, thanks to the termite tenting. The 3-Ring-Circus will begin again tomorrow when I move out of the hotel and back in to my home.
But last night, the first night of tenting, I drove past my little place. It's a rented 1928 duplex, one-bedroom. I'm very happy there. I've loved it since the day I moved in four years ago. So when I saw the tent, I was kind of releived that it didn't look so bad . . . until I drove around the back.
Up was the huge sign of the pest control company, up were the signs saying how dangerous it would be to enter. But most of all, up were the hoses coming out of my house the way hoses come out of humans during surgery.
I can't describe how weird this feels, or how stupid I felt when I cried at the sight of it.
Home is such a sacred place. Being without one is one of the most stressful things in life.
But last night, the first night of tenting, I drove past my little place. It's a rented 1928 duplex, one-bedroom. I'm very happy there. I've loved it since the day I moved in four years ago. So when I saw the tent, I was kind of releived that it didn't look so bad . . . until I drove around the back.
Up was the huge sign of the pest control company, up were the signs saying how dangerous it would be to enter. But most of all, up were the hoses coming out of my house the way hoses come out of humans during surgery.
I can't describe how weird this feels, or how stupid I felt when I cried at the sight of it.
Home is such a sacred place. Being without one is one of the most stressful things in life.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Irony
I want you to know that I don't miss the irony here. I am making a documentary about the homeless, and here I am displaced myself. I drove by my place this afternoon to see how the termite tenting was going and realized I needed to use the bathroom. But I couldn't go inside my home. The truck was already there. The gas tanks were there. The house was all locked up.
And I thought to myself -- when my homeless friends need to use the bathroom, and they need to several times each and every day, they also have no place to go.
By Friday I'll have my home back. By Friday, my homeless friends will still be looking for a bathroom.
And I thought to myself -- when my homeless friends need to use the bathroom, and they need to several times each and every day, they also have no place to go.
By Friday I'll have my home back. By Friday, my homeless friends will still be looking for a bathroom.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Frazzled
Termites Part II. My house is packed. My brain is fried. But most importantly, my hard drive with all the footage of my documentary . . . is safe.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Termites
Here's a little bit of Odd Fate. MY home (I live in a rented duplex) is being tented for termites in two days and I'm packing up to move out while the place gets gased and then move back in again. Yikes. Sure, I must take out the food, the medicines, the opened boxes of oatmeal, but what about my hard drive that contains all the footage of this project?
Of course, I realize I am being ridiculous. I leave my place every day to go to The Day Job and I never worry about leaving the hard drive. I never worry about a fire or an earthquake. And as a reward for my sanity the hard drive is always there when I get back, ready to have me download more footage from each interview I shoot. I even go away for weekends on occasion. I never worry that the hard drive will get up and walk away.
But termite tenting? I can't explain my paranoia. For such little guys, they carry a lot of power. Plus, moving out and moving back in again feels major.
Of course, I will take the hard drive with me. I will sleep with it under my pillow. I will carry it like a purse. I cannot take a chance that something could happen to Two Years of Work.
So today I feel like a nutcase.
But if I am a nutcase, I do not forget what a LUCKY nutcase I am. At least I have a home to move back in to.
Thanks again for reading.
Of course, I realize I am being ridiculous. I leave my place every day to go to The Day Job and I never worry about leaving the hard drive. I never worry about a fire or an earthquake. And as a reward for my sanity the hard drive is always there when I get back, ready to have me download more footage from each interview I shoot. I even go away for weekends on occasion. I never worry that the hard drive will get up and walk away.
But termite tenting? I can't explain my paranoia. For such little guys, they carry a lot of power. Plus, moving out and moving back in again feels major.
Of course, I will take the hard drive with me. I will sleep with it under my pillow. I will carry it like a purse. I cannot take a chance that something could happen to Two Years of Work.
So today I feel like a nutcase.
But if I am a nutcase, I do not forget what a LUCKY nutcase I am. At least I have a home to move back in to.
Thanks again for reading.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Where do I begin?
I've never written a blog before, but I assume that in order to share the journey it's best to start at the beginning. This blog is about the making of a documentary of how an event came to be. The event was called "Voices of the Homeless."
I wasn't looking to help anybody when I went to my orientation meeting at the Ventura County Arts Council. All I was looking for was money. I sat in my seat and was told, along with many other people, that in order to be awarded a grant of up to $5,000, I must find a way to use my art to help solve a community problem. The grant was called an "Artist in the Community Partnership Grant."
I thought, "I'm a jazz singer with a day job. What community problem could I possibly help? I don't paint. I can't paint a mural depicting some outreach program. I sing. How can MY voice help, well, ANYBODY?"
Enter Bob.
I went home from that orientation meeting with a defeatist attitude. And the very next day, I finally started talking to Bob. Bob is homeless . . . or was. Bob is gone now. But when Bob was around my neighborhood, he used to scare the hell out of me. He had helter-skelter eyes, he was tall, his eyes were a shocking blue, and he had no teeth. I was afraid of him. But everywhere Bob went, his guitar followed.
And that made me wonder -- how could a voice or some voices (since that's all I had to offer) connect the homeless with the rest of us. The homeless who, maybe like Bob, were touched by music, were helped along their way by music.
Since I am a performer, I thought that the only thing I could do was produce an event, an event that might bring together the homeless with my form of music, jazz. I wasn't at all sure how the two would come together, but an idea was forming.
My next step was to find a community partner. In order to get the grant I was not allowed to work alone, as I always had. I had to partner with an organization. At this point, thanks to Bob, I figured that the only people I might be able to help were the homeless. So I looked up homeless shelters on the internet and found one organization that had a cartoon on their website. The cartoon sold me. The place was called, "Project Understanding."
Then, on this one particular lunch hour in January of 2010, I went to Project Understanding on the Avenue in Ventura, California, and tried to find someone who would talk to me. There I found Todd Goehner (pronounced Gaynor), who became my community partner. I was literally walking down the alley wondering where people were (they were at lunch too) when Todd saw me wandering. He asked me to come in. I sat in his little, humble, old office and preceded to cry. I felt like an idiot. I blubbered how I wanted to have the homeless tell a large audience what the experience of homelessness was really like, who the homeless really were, that the homeless were not all the same, and on top of all of that, I wanted jazz improvisers to create music in the moment behind them in order to support them and to show the audience a level of jazz music most people do not understand. I wanted the event to be about listening. I wanted to promote the listening of all of us to each other. I wanted to become a better listener myself. I wanted to show the community at large that there was a LOT more to know about the homeless as individuals and a LOT more to learn about American's Classical Music: Jazz.
And I guess this is where I'll stop my blog for tonight. I want you to know that first I had to need money, then I had to need a partner, and then I had to create an event that could actually do the community some good. This eventually led to the performance of "Voices of the Homeless," which the documentary is about and for.
If you care to see any short videos of the performance held on August 21, 2010, go to my YouTube Channel here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/TJazzka
There are about 8 videos of the event.
I'll say goodnight for now.
Thanks for reading!
Toni
I wasn't looking to help anybody when I went to my orientation meeting at the Ventura County Arts Council. All I was looking for was money. I sat in my seat and was told, along with many other people, that in order to be awarded a grant of up to $5,000, I must find a way to use my art to help solve a community problem. The grant was called an "Artist in the Community Partnership Grant."
I thought, "I'm a jazz singer with a day job. What community problem could I possibly help? I don't paint. I can't paint a mural depicting some outreach program. I sing. How can MY voice help, well, ANYBODY?"
Enter Bob.
I went home from that orientation meeting with a defeatist attitude. And the very next day, I finally started talking to Bob. Bob is homeless . . . or was. Bob is gone now. But when Bob was around my neighborhood, he used to scare the hell out of me. He had helter-skelter eyes, he was tall, his eyes were a shocking blue, and he had no teeth. I was afraid of him. But everywhere Bob went, his guitar followed.
And that made me wonder -- how could a voice or some voices (since that's all I had to offer) connect the homeless with the rest of us. The homeless who, maybe like Bob, were touched by music, were helped along their way by music.
Since I am a performer, I thought that the only thing I could do was produce an event, an event that might bring together the homeless with my form of music, jazz. I wasn't at all sure how the two would come together, but an idea was forming.
My next step was to find a community partner. In order to get the grant I was not allowed to work alone, as I always had. I had to partner with an organization. At this point, thanks to Bob, I figured that the only people I might be able to help were the homeless. So I looked up homeless shelters on the internet and found one organization that had a cartoon on their website. The cartoon sold me. The place was called, "Project Understanding."
Then, on this one particular lunch hour in January of 2010, I went to Project Understanding on the Avenue in Ventura, California, and tried to find someone who would talk to me. There I found Todd Goehner (pronounced Gaynor), who became my community partner. I was literally walking down the alley wondering where people were (they were at lunch too) when Todd saw me wandering. He asked me to come in. I sat in his little, humble, old office and preceded to cry. I felt like an idiot. I blubbered how I wanted to have the homeless tell a large audience what the experience of homelessness was really like, who the homeless really were, that the homeless were not all the same, and on top of all of that, I wanted jazz improvisers to create music in the moment behind them in order to support them and to show the audience a level of jazz music most people do not understand. I wanted the event to be about listening. I wanted to promote the listening of all of us to each other. I wanted to become a better listener myself. I wanted to show the community at large that there was a LOT more to know about the homeless as individuals and a LOT more to learn about American's Classical Music: Jazz.
And I guess this is where I'll stop my blog for tonight. I want you to know that first I had to need money, then I had to need a partner, and then I had to create an event that could actually do the community some good. This eventually led to the performance of "Voices of the Homeless," which the documentary is about and for.
If you care to see any short videos of the performance held on August 21, 2010, go to my YouTube Channel here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/TJazzka
There are about 8 videos of the event.
I'll say goodnight for now.
Thanks for reading!
Toni
Saturday, January 7, 2012
A new blog starts today!
Welcome to my new blog about the making of my documentary, VOICES OF THE HOMELESS, a jazz improv - storytelling event where the homeless shared their stories while backed by improvisational musicians. I produced this live event on August 21, 2010, and I am now shooting a documentary about how this event came to be.
More to come. Welcome, and thank you!
More to come. Welcome, and thank you!
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